gonna blog in proper english for some blur person who cannot read in shortform. im so considerate.

ANYWAY,

dance is depressing. not becoz i dont like dance, but becoz i cant dance well.reaction time way too slow and memory sucking.feels like im letting the instructor down, i know he's trying to be nice in many ways.maybe practise will help.hope so. maybe im setting too high standards for myself, but.... i work this way.ya.


depressing.


nothing's helping. parents are arguing again. becoz of some dumb reason ->one of them slamed things loudly then the other person nt happy. ] den now they're saying each other is dumb indirectly.


urgh who really cares. blocked them put a long, long time ago. blocking out stuff....its a good way of preventing yourself getting hurt or whatsoever. u dont care in the end. but it makes you a bit cold i guess./ ha.


my younger brother is nice in a way.i guess. he saw the big, beautiful dark red bruise like those u see on tv on my knee i got from modern dance n helped me put cream on it =_=""|| and told me some advice, not to run but WALK slowly instead.


i was like ERRRRRRR and brushed him away. but oh well, i appreciate the effort, however futile it may be. i realised with not much enthusiaism(<-spelling?) that dark red bruises are not as painful as those blue black ones in the "long term". although the dark red ones will hurt like crap after you just hit it. which was what happened, btw.



man i cant stand people who pretend to have no 'bad'pride and back away from a quarrel like some noble person, but actually knowing that you can keep your pride in the end.


e.g. saying that you wont do that job anymore, but actually knowing very well that the other person really needs you to do that job, so that you can gloat when the other person comes and kinda 'beg' you to go back.



so.


generally i hate pretendence. like when people act out of their character around those "popular" people to gain acceptance and become "popular" too.


they are as bitchy as those girls in those western movies in my opinion. its just that the asians act in more subtle ways. silently dangerous.


oh man i hate that.

and i cant help it that some people in class are like that.

Shine Jesus, Shine
By: Graham Kendrick,1987 Make Way Music, Ltd./Integrity's Hosanna!


A D A E
Lord, the light of Your love is shining,
A D A E
In the midst of the darkness shining!
D E C#m F#m
Jesus, Light of the World, shine upon us;
D E C#m F#m
Set us free by the truth You now bring us!
G E
Shine on me,
G Esus E
Shine on me!

(Chorus)

A E A D Bm E
Shine, Jesus shine, fill this land with the Father's glory;
A E A D G Esus E
Blaze, spirit blaze, set our hearts on fire.
A E A D Bm E
Flow, river flow, flood the nations with grace and mercy;
A E A D G E A
Send forth Your word, Lord, and let there be light.


2.) Lord, I come to Your awesome presence, From the shadows into
Your radiance; By the blood I may enter Your brightness;
Search me, try me, consume all my darkness; Shine on me.
Shine on me.

(Chorus)

3.) As we gaze on Your kingly brightness So our faces display
Your likeness, Ever changing from glory to glory: Mirrored
here, may our lives tell Your story; Shine on me.
Shine on me.

(Chorus)
-www.Christianmusicweb.com

--------------------------------------

yes tis is the song im lyk SO crazy abt.

*AHHHHHHHHH

-i luvv tis song! Shine On Me

ive been straying, slowly moving away. gta cum back. dere was modern dance tdae..tiring in a way.esp wen ur leg//joints hurt frm ysd, n i dun even noe if its frm ninjado or dance (class) or modern dance (cca) HA.


im so into dance.*yea

so tired recently. physically, coz slping so late. but mentally n emotionally (?? guess dere' both linked) im so tired of bickering coz of sum dumb *education-er. guess i'l juz leave it here. too tired. anyway y do i even spend so much energy on sum1 i hate dislike so much.


i tried trying to like him/her ya noe. but ALAS, it didnt turn out a bit well at all. oh hu cares. definately not me. but not gna let him/her affect my tt subj.im nt THAT stupid.


maybe i'l juz be neutral. yea.


tired* mentally"emothinally too..

coz i don't understd y the world is doing all these complicated stuff. y do we hf to be burdened w de role n' lifelong pressure to do well in studies, to get a gd job, status, money for a higher standard of living.

but y mus the world work lyk tt. money, for instance, is 'necessary' for the 'fair' exchange of daily necessities tt we need. but if the world just live with the system of sharing what you have with others, won't 'money' be redundant, juz a few scarps of useless paper? why such a complicated system we choose to adopt to this world? or maybe, we don't even have a choice./


why just all live in eqality, no higher status den one another, no stress, no pressure..why can't we just live in the natural world.. is it because of our 'inbreed' instinct to dominate over others?/ to be better den other ppl in all ways possible..


we do all this, for our mere survival in this world, for reality will kill you, n even success cannot guranttee a shield. but do we notice, we hf unconciously made ourselves our own death-trap,a weapon to kill oursleves wif,stimes w compications we do nt even understd ourselves...


we hf made our own living difficult. created more trouble, for ourselves. for now we live in a world so great in pressure we face sucides evryday, sumwhere out dere in the world.


is true happiness not important anymore--? in a bid to survive in a harsh world we created for ourselves, is happiness overrided/ or is happiness evolving, for we are happy of things that are in fact, much less important den others.

or we THINK we will be happy aft we achieve a certain goal, personal legend. but actu, how many people are realli happy aft dey achieve deir material wants?


for the short term maybe, but maybe eventually dey find an unbearable emptiness in their hearts, maybe, becoz of the lack of happiness. true happiness.


for in times such as this, where we all live in a corrupted world wih, harsh realities, i am more den grateful for God's eternal love. tt under Him,we may find true happiness.

tdae's web was meaningful yar....

i luf de song Shine On Me -- i want de lyrics!+


sigh* hf to be nicer wen i tok to other ppl yea. or i'l stirr up a whirlpool of trouble and nt be able to get out of it. wont help even if im regreting it terribly.


i realised im getting meaner n meaner nowadaes. i realli shld be nicer..
n i gtta rub down on tt pride of mine.

Pride.
nt tt lyk, of my :achievements" those kind lah. its lyk nt wanting to apologize tho i noe im wrong n im regreting it. ok lah i tnk its better tis yr compared to during pri skl *+

gta b nicer to evry1 in general.yar. my goal frm now on, pile-ing on top of all de others. none i wld prefer to reveal. it'll drive u to ur bed.

+for some outta de sky reason im reasonably excited abt helping out at de touch centre -- mayb coz its de art stuff yeah/

i desperately nd a template change.

but tt takes time, n its time i dont haf.


at least dere's sth to get happi n excited abt......on thursday we had auditions during modern dance to pick those hu wld be dancing in SYF. leanne n i were late coz of aep, but we still gt in..! lyk, gosh. God is great!wif Him, nothing is impossible.


icant wait for church tml.....we'll be jumping ard again!+


tdae had piano aft skl, in bt panjang, during which i wasnt scolded tt badly, nt bad for sum1 hu didnt practise for lyk omost de whole week. ANW, wen i was going hm i met sujah! --so qiao can....


haha, she had my xmas present wif her@!! yar it was a necklace, freaking cool. too bad didnt hf hers wif me, nvm, too bad *ha


on de way saw two rather cute old men too. i dun mean in appearance wise k.

u noe those patterned tiles on de floor? yar de old man was jumping ard, trying to get to de other side by onli jumping on de black tiles......hahaaaaa* den i was lyk grining away... hey, it looked fun k.


another old man was going into a lift. n guess wad, he was lyk taking those small, quick steps walking in there!--lyk u noe wen pl ask u to walk faster, den u spite dem by walking faster, but in EXTREMELY small steps? *wahaaaa, so funny k.....


tdae sum spokesman of sum centre for the mentally challenged brought to light an interesting theory. to draw a circle n a dot, n where wld u draw it/


if ya drew de dot in de middle of de circle, u r tis real obedient person hu listens to ur parents. but if ya draw de dot elsewhere, the further the dot is frm the middle of de circle, the more creatve u will me. interesting.

more interesting is tt he mentioned, tt his clients, wen asked to do the same exe, drew a circle on tis side of the pg but fliped over to the other side to draw the dot.


which lead me thinking while i was on the bus.

these ppl we call retarded, r dey jus living in another dimension/
r dey so extremely creative, wif too many ideas n explosions in their heads tt dey get all mixed up, or does the prob jus lies w us, tt we the "normal" ppl jus cannot comprehend wad they r actu doing, y dey r acting in a way tt baffles us. somehow tho tis doesnt make sense. dere r loopholes a many.


but God says that things r nt wad dey seem to be, in tis world we live in so filled wif corruption. r dey, actu, the ones tt r the real geniuses / for God is fair, wad He doesnt present upon u He makes it up by giving more of the other.


these "mentally challenged" ppl....frm our point of view dey r retarded, of no use at all. but wad do dey hf, actu, locked up in tt mind of theirs, tt maybe even scientists cannot comprehend or find out. wad do dey actu noe?/ dey MAY, hold the key to de greatest truth,but just dont talk abt it. we dont noe. n guess we never will noe.